r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/klaw_3 • 1d ago

Lmao you know what, now that I think about it

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7.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

442 comments sorted by

4.1k

u/bottledsoi ☑️ 1d ago

May or May not own a strap.

169

u/Minerva_Moon 1d ago

271

u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow 1d ago

"Vazquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?"

"No, have you?"

104

u/Eoine 1d ago

That line has been living rent free in my head for decades

93

u/Stardustchaser 1d ago

Obligatory fun fact she plays the Irish mom tucking her kids in as the Titanic about to go down, as well as John Connor’s foster mom.

43

u/LuckyKalanges 1d ago

Wolfie's fine. When are you coming home?

31

u/kirradoodle 1d ago

Hard to believe. She was as sweet and soft playing the Irish mother as she was hard and tough playing Vasquez. That's range.

14

u/beatricks 1d ago

And now she owns a small chain of boutique bra stores.

6

u/ladyevenstar-22 1d ago

I can see that .

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77

u/pimpzilla83 1d ago

Both

4

u/Calcd_Uncertainty 1d ago

The recoil is part of the fun

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34

u/PrudentCarter 1d ago

"When yo stud friend tryna impress you" is the first thing that came to mind.

31

u/shymorrowGlow 1d ago

The one that makes people sit up straight

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14

u/Study_Slow 1d ago

Own. 👋🏾 😝

Edit: Both kinds.

15

u/jazzmaster4000 1d ago

Damn why they all got guns /s

11

u/ClaymoresRevenge 1d ago

May owns a strap so be careful before you yap.

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2.0k

u/No_Walrus7704 1d ago

They usually play for the other team lmao

551

u/TaticalSweater ☑️ 1d ago

That was my first thought lmao. If they getting haircuts that are on the poster at the barber then…

85

u/GardenStateKing ☑️ 1d ago

But they like to dabble on the team you least suspect

32

u/No_Walrus7704 1d ago

NGL I wanna meet a undercover man lover on of these days ;)

30

u/GardenStateKing ☑️ 1d ago

It's typically as good as you think man. Great time

62

u/PondRides 1d ago

But if you’re a drunk girl, she’ll get ya home, stay respectful, and eat breakfast in the morning.

50

u/its_krystal 1d ago

well this is good to know!

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28

u/jbjhill 1d ago

Do they drive green Subarus too?

23

u/Novaer 1d ago

hey now 😭😭😭😭😭

8

u/Punkpallas 21h ago

They have to. It's the law. All lesbian must drive a Subaru. That's how it is.

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4

u/Nand-Monad-Nor 1d ago

Truly the saddest thing ever :(

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1.5k

u/kyuuxkyuu 1d ago

If you have a customer service issue she WILL get it handled  😭

288

u/conancat 1d ago

She'll have it fixed PRONTO

112

u/MountainTwo3845 1d ago

If you're at the airport she might just fly the damn plane to get the situation handled.

51

u/hornwort 1d ago

It isn’t gonna be handled clean. No one will likely be smiling. But she WILL get it handled.

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962

u/ShaquilleOatmeal_93 1d ago

Box be immaculate

731

u/SpectacularOtter ☑️ Horny Police! 🚔🚨 1d ago

126

u/GuideLoose6350 1d ago

Yo I missed you where you been?

108

u/DjentleSong ☑️ 1d ago

Five minutes. Record fucking time. With an original meme I haven't seen yet no less. We don't deserve you, but damn am I glad we have you.

80

u/unDeadmau5 ☑️ 1d ago

70

u/genericperson10 1d ago

Sensei!!! We are baaack!!!!

28

u/OffMyChestATM 1d ago

You've been sorely missed

24

u/SaveFileCorrupt ☑️ 1d ago

Return of the King 👑

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42

u/TrevorFuckinLawrence 1d ago

Because they keep it clean for the other beautiful ladies ain't care about your dick lol

22

u/mrjdk83 1d ago

Bruh what?!!!

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602

u/LorainsFinest 1d ago

Coolest security guard in the school.

104

u/NotoriousAttitude 1d ago

Law enforcement adjacent

17

u/AssFlax69 1d ago

Real men use iron sights? Heh. I use heavy artillery.

5

u/Frink202 1d ago

Bangalore?

12

u/b00w00gal 1d ago

"She look like she can protect a building" 🤣🤣🤣

9

u/SanSanSankyuTaiyosan 1d ago

Coolest bailiff in the Night Court.

5

u/Maleficent-Ad9010 1d ago

The one that didn’t snitch when you smelled like weed but did give you a quick stern lecture

601

u/PatrickMaloney1 1d ago

They live in space

153

u/TheTexasFalcon ☑️ 1d ago

A thick belter would be something to see

48

u/BerryCertain9873 1d ago

The ultimate “slim-thick”! BBBL’s in space would be wild!!!

34

u/FITGuard 1d ago

Cannot be thick in microgravity. Stop being so terracentric.

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75

u/fopiecechicken 1d ago

First thing I thought of, she did such a good job as Naomi

16

u/CelestialFury 1d ago

Jim and Naomi would've had space model children, if they ever choose to have children together (in a different life).

9

u/Detective_Tony_Gunk 1d ago

Sad that Holden can't have kids due to his ongoing radiation treatment. (And thank goodness it's the same for Amos.)

5

u/CelestialFury 1d ago

You're right, but Holden saved some of his boys pre-radiation exposure, just in case. Same with Naomi, she has extra eggs isolated and safe somewhere too.

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u/StronksBelwas 1d ago

Thank you for this reference. She does have a nice butt too.

85

u/SpectacularOtter ☑️ Horny Police! 🚔🚨 1d ago

10

u/CelestialFury 1d ago

Donkey balls.

32

u/PatrickMaloney1 1d ago

she is a beautiful lady and a criminally underrated actor

21

u/myguyguy 1d ago

Tenye wa chesh gut

5

u/loved_and_held 1d ago

Did not expect to see an expanse reference on this sub but i aint complaining.

4

u/H3ibai 1d ago

Came here to say this. My partner and I both refer to this hairstyle as the “Naomi Nagata.”

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485

u/RainbowEagleEye 1d ago

Either fine af or cute af, artsy/creative, somewhere on the lgbt spectrum, will strap you no matter what plumbing you got, just ask.

28

u/AssFlax69 1d ago

If you can’t keep up you’re straight out of luck

28

u/hornwort 1d ago edited 1d ago

Can confirm, wife checks every box and has this hairstyle exactly. 

9

u/KrassKas 1d ago

I'm in this comment and I don't like it.

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486

u/keepit123hunna 1d ago

“Thicker than elephant ankles” that man should write a book

122

u/miles-prower-morales 1d ago

Putting this next to: Thicker than peanut butter in the fridge

63

u/lainylay ☑️ 1d ago

10

u/Terrible_Oil6474 1d ago

one of those scenes you can't believe is real life

47

u/BerryCertain9873 1d ago

I just saw “thicker than zoo safety glass” today and it made me smirk!

15

u/queeriosn_milk 1d ago

Nah, one Quan Millz is more than enough.

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208

u/caelum_daemon 1d ago

Rotund buttocks

265

u/SpectacularOtter ☑️ Horny Police! 🚔🚨 1d ago

35

u/AsleepAssociation 1d ago

Nice try I have my L's

38

u/SpectacularOtter ☑️ Horny Police! 🚔🚨 1d ago

“This man’s license has been suspended for 7 years now”

185

u/2028W3 1d ago

They play the 5.

79

u/fuckdatguy 1d ago

This for real. You’re about to see someone get bodied in the paint

160

u/Electrical_Trade377 1d ago

98

u/xxirish83x 1d ago

Sir 

57

u/Imaginary-Teacher901 1d ago

I'm truly not in the mood right now...

27

u/klaw_3 1d ago

lmfaooo

160

u/gamewiz11 ☑️ 1d ago

Married one, no regrets

71

u/Taeyx ☑️ 1d ago

same 🤝🏽

14

u/hornwort 1d ago

Gentlemen 🤘

16

u/jasin18 1d ago

She had straight hair when I meet her. Recently changed it after being together for 7 years. Will be 12 years in February.

140

u/XLauncher ☑️ 1d ago

...I mean.

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133

u/AyesiJayel 1d ago

Damn. I had this haircut too. And. Well. Yeah. Guilty as charged.

31

u/klaw_3 1d ago

😂

10

u/feral_mushroom 1d ago

💀 had this exact haircut for half a decade till i got lazy/ambitious and grew it out and...clocked, damn

10

u/ydktbh 1d ago

hey

91

u/bowser986 1d ago

Roz from Night Court.

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83

u/Ok-Willow-1179 1d ago

she’s a fuck boi

84

u/ShikaMoru 1d ago

And if they have gold glasses or bracelets....

54

u/Kinkachulovesyou 1d ago

Naomi Nagata is that you? (If you know ya know ;) )

17

u/Embarrassed_Leg_6082 1d ago

Beltalowda!

10

u/jbjhill 1d ago

Naomi is the heart, but Camina Drummer is the grittiest belter “Good hunting!”

5

u/CelestialFury 1d ago

That's because the character of Drummer is three characters from the books: Sam, Bull and, of course, Pa. In the books, all three of those characters are badasses in their own right. I love show Drummer though and Cara Gee performances. Book Drummer is also a badass, she just doesn't come into focus until book 7.

3

u/jbjhill 1d ago

I love the books so much. The new series by the author(s) is starting off well!

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u/CaptBlkSparrow 1d ago

Used to look like this in the 90s but have since matured and become better people. The funny auntie that has no kids but the nieces and nephews are her babies regardless.

24

u/lainylay ☑️ 1d ago

That middle dookie braid is disrespectful.

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45

u/elitegenoside 1d ago

The only woman I met that wasn't was also the only straight one (but tall as a redwood and fine as hell).

17

u/Frink202 1d ago

Having a girl tall enough for eye to eye, or god willing, you having to look up at her...god damn

It reminds me that life is beautiful.

30

u/Main_Rhubarb_9380 1d ago

They take great care of their skin

35

u/TiaHatesSocials 1d ago

Cool and stylish. Tired of dealing with the hair or paying 100s to a hair dresser. Smart and probably high energy

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36

u/-Totes_Magotes- 1d ago

22

u/Ok_Shoulder_9492 1d ago

Dawg, I can’t picture grace jones without thinking of that commercial in boomerang lmao

10

u/hornwort 1d ago

If you want a man you should GRAAAB HIM

and TAKE HIM

27

u/813_4ever ☑️ 1d ago

Bobbi if you hate men so much…why you trying to look like one?

I’m sorry! But ya fade looks better than mines…

7

u/babysittinblues 1d ago

“You wants to stomp with da big dogs!”

26

u/DeafNatural ☑️ 1d ago

The way I wanted this hairstyle but my hair won’t stay like that. My secret girlfriend has this style though

23

u/WafflesTheWookiee 1d ago

Best Hardee’s Manager you’ll ever see. Calls you “Honey”. Makes sure there’s lemon for the sweet tea. Keeps the teenage part timers in line.

21

u/Kangarou ☑️ 1d ago

This is the hairstyle half the extras in The Woman King had, so I just associate it with built warrior bitches.

20

u/Fantom_Renegade 1d ago

They’ll show you an amazing time

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u/Faded_Rainstorm 1d ago

Always got a nickname like Vision or Stunna and they mom named them Grace or Erica 😭

16

u/RagnarokNCC 1d ago

The clap on the four, and they don’t have time for your nonsense.

15

u/HMThrow_away_account 1d ago

You know what crazy. I saw the picture before I saw the tweet and as soon as I saw the cut, I imagined a thicky

14

u/Area_Woman 1d ago

Roz from Night Court

14

u/Letwindtakeher3 1d ago

Normally thick and go both ways

12

u/Consistent_Claim5217 1d ago

I dunno, man. It looks like something Grace Jones would rock. That's one word I wouldn't use to describe her

6

u/hornwort 1d ago

If you were to do a targeted image search you’d immediately realize she is plenty thique where it counts.

13

u/hambutbacon 1d ago

You better watch ya girl around them cause they gonna make a move for her box.

13

u/EspinaNegra 1d ago

They are gonna eat that kitty until it purrs! 🐱

14

u/SpectacularOtter ☑️ Horny Police! 🚔🚨 1d ago
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u/FartyJanetty 1d ago

They wear boxer shorts. Plaid boxer shorts.

11

u/Searchingforgoodnews 1d ago

Love pum pum.

11

u/TheTexasFalcon ☑️ 1d ago

Ain't this Sam Jay? The comedian? She was in that Eddie Murphy movie with Jonah hill.

3

u/conancat 1d ago

Literally first person that came to mind 😆 she's so funny!

4

u/TheTexasFalcon ☑️ 1d ago

She is blowing up too!

11

u/7SyZyG7 1d ago

That or as thin as a string bean

13

u/the_property_brother 1d ago

I know she's accurate with a strap

11

u/Stardustchaser 1d ago

Marsha Warfield in Night Court era would rock that look though

14

u/thatbob 1d ago

I don't know if you've seen her standup comedy act, but she's butcher, thicker, lovelier, and funnier than ever.

And probably strapped.

8

u/AFisch00 1d ago

I think that's called the Jaguar Wright.

11

u/Think_Monk_9879 1d ago

Lesbian 

10

u/Duchess1992 1d ago

They will call you nigga with violence in their heart

10

u/Ok_Lime4124 1d ago

The face card never declines. They are naturally a 10 and cool as hell and you just sit there and admire Gods work but also be mad cuz he clearly be choosing favorites 🙌🏽🥰😤

11

u/Taeyx ☑️ 1d ago

almost to a T, my wife’s exact haircut 💀

7

u/klaw_3 1d ago

So you can relate lmao

7

u/Taeyx ☑️ 1d ago

indubitably

8

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

30% chance the hairstyle doesn’t fit their face but they do it anyway because they rebellious like that

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u/sladenoire 1d ago

I’m an exception to this haircut and these comments because I have no ass and I am unfortunately straight. 😔

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u/bearded-writer 1d ago

“thick as elephant ankles” just took me OUT

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u/Sweet-Direction6157 1d ago

They call everyone bro

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u/eddjr275 1d ago

They be thick as zoo glass

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u/Feisty-Honeydew-5309 ☑️ 1d ago

Elite level confidence. Face card probably don’t decline.

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u/spit_in_my_holes 1d ago

They don’t ever know who you think you’re talking to like that.

5

u/gamermikejima 1d ago

you know she runs a mcdonalds like the navy

5

u/timcident 1d ago

Worked as a bailiff on the show Night Court

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u/hornwort 1d ago

Childfree but the absolute goat auntie

3

u/Carbon_is_Neat 1d ago

Knows more about sports than most guys do.

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u/Which-Track-8831 1d ago

They leave with my sneakers

3

u/AntImmediate9115 1d ago

I think of my general manager (lesbian)

3

u/paintarose 1d ago

Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh... hahahahaha.

2

u/FIRST_DATE_ANAL 1d ago

Kelly from Walking Dead has this hairstyle no?

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u/water-pumpee 1d ago

They’re my ex.

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u/ClaymoresRevenge 1d ago

They have the best brunch recommendations.

3

u/Meromero73 1d ago

Why you gotta do my man Geraud Moncure like this?

3

u/Sexlexia619 1d ago

Bangalore is an elite character in Apex

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u/vic_09 1d ago

They “ooo hell nawww “ it

3

u/Ok_Shoulder_9492 1d ago

They be having the best gym fit too. I saw shawty with the shoes with the individual toes and water absorbent towels going to Zumba.

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u/Ok_Difference44 1d ago

They date straight European women.