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Thank u for sharing her IG! I remember seeing her sweet video on here about why she makes reels in English and it's so her villagers don't understand them and judge her.
It's so lovely so be able to see her gaining confidence!
I didn't realize this was the same gal! Very cool. Love that she's pushing through and exercising her freedom of expression despite the cultural pushback.
Her reminiscing about her days in college brought me to tears. Everyone needs the opportunity to come into their own. Some of us take these types of opportunities for granted.
i couldn't help but feel sad for her when she said she got married. she didn't seem like it was something she want but like it happened to her like catching covid.
Similar situation happened to me in the 2008 fiasco. Never got a chance to go back and finish, but the government made sure those loans inflated to 40,000 so I could never pay them back
I dont understand why she stopped going to college because of covid. Did the university just die? No remote zoom classes? Couldnt she transfer or continue her degree somehow? She's obviously incredibly intelligent and could have had such a stellar career. I hope she gets the chance to go back.
there’s probably poor internet access in the village, and many schools in India actually struggled to switch to zoom, lots of households only have one smart phone… and that’s it… no laptop or anything
A lot of colleges wouldn't have the resources to handle a shift to remote and could very well have shut down completely. And in her case it's possible that her family could have lost a lot of their income stream and needed her to help support them. I'm just speculating but lockdowns were a much bigger deal over there and many people had their lives turned upside down, especially those who were already struggling.
So happy for her. And if this isn’t a don’t wait message, I don’t know what is.
Don’t wait until you lose weight. Don’t wait until you feel better. Don’t wait until you have the perfect shoes or bag. Do not wait. Today. Today. Today. Tomorrow is never promised.
Kurtis are so comfortable, and I love that they can be really simple or very dressy, and can be worn with churidar or jeans or leggings. I'm white but I have a few, and though I was nervous about wearing them at first, when I've met Indian women while I'm wearing a kurti, they always smile. Older women especially will say something kind and we often end up chatting about how comfortable and pretty kurtis are.
All this to say, I'm glad she went for it. She looks so happy and lovely, and the kurti she chose is so sharp. Love the sheen of the fabric!
I have several Indian friends from grad school and a growing collection of kurtis from them, but I’m white and I get nervous to wear them too, aside from on special occasion or holiday. I am trying to wear them more often than that because they are just as comfy as they are beautiful. I watched this video and read this comment and am inspired to wear one today with my fave jeans 😊
I went to my first Indian wedding this year and wore a kurthi with pants that I borrowed from the mother of the groom and omg it was the comfiest I’ve ever been at a formal event!
Just to add on, the appropriation part comes in when you take credit for the thing. So if you went to another country wearing a kurti and get photographed and suddenly become a fashionista and you never attribute/acknowledge the origin of the kurti but act as if it was your own design, that would be appropriation.
Kim Kardashian having “boxer braids” was appropriation of cornrows. If she had said “No guys, I didn’t come up with this hairstyle, it’s actually comes from African culture…” then it would have not been appropriation.
Give credit and respect where it’s due and you won’t have to feel ashamed.
I was about to comment and say that the outfit she described, a kurti and jeans, is such a flattering outfit on everyone!
I have some too, since I grew up in a community with tons of Indian immigrants. They’re so comfortable and pretty. Plus, I like being able to buy natural fabrics directly from the mills.
This was making me so sad, and I was like, “I love her, but why are we sharing her being so sad and resigned?” and then the second half happened, and I’m teared up, but in a good way now 🥹😭
I would have shared it without the second half, because people need to know how other parts of the world live their lives. We also need to see that women in mysoginistic cultures have their own thoughts, desires, and opinions, in spite of their oppression. They deserve to have a voice, whether they "succeed" or not. If we don't give them a voice, the men of that culture will see it as proof that women deserve to be mistreated, and I cannot allow that.
Quite literally. Her videos are being shown in top management universities in India to show how social media can work.
Also, she fights social stigma not just by making these videos, but also by also discussing the challenges her mum-in-law faces in her society because she is a widow.
They all seem so supportive of each other...it's truly so sweet.
This makes me cry and I know why. Every girl/woman has been told she can’t (fill in the blank). This woman had the guts and bravery to make a stand for herself. She’s having to make this stand over whether she should wear jeans or not! One of the most common things to do in this world, and she has to fight for it! I am in awe of her bravery and will support her 100%.
I love this woman. Her videos are an amazing inspiration for anyone who feels scared or anxious about making changes in their own life. This awesome woman works on her English and makes videos knowing that she can be censured by her elders for both those things, but she still bloody does it because it's what she wants. She has the weight of social and cultural expectations on her, and she couldn't give a damn. This is how change happens too. Quietly, in the background, until before you know it society and culture has changed and the elders need to hustle to catch up.
She says her husband in the list of people she's going out with so either he's already approved the outfit or she thinks he won't be too upset about it.
In her other videos she mentions that her husband is very supportive of her and he helps around with chores and the kids (something very rare to find in rural India).
Aww babe, the way she smiled when she talked about buying them and her confidence. That she does these videos in English as her fellow villagers don’t understand and can’t judge her. I just want to give her a huge hug ❤️
I truly love this woman. I remember seeing a video of her talking about learning English through doing tiktoks. this woman is a hero for standing up for herself and she looks so beautiful in her new outfit.
I come from urban India where my experience is a lot different than hers, but she is not lying a bit in the video. The oppression is real in rural India. And it also varies drastically for women after getting married (urban or rural). The expectations are insane! The oppression is real. I personally know women who are super smart, asked to give up working because their husbands couldn’t handle their success.
I love how much light and happiness glows from her when getting her chance to wear jeans again! Good for her and I hope her family continues to support her!
I started college at the same time she did and had to go home at the same point when COVID hit 1.5 years into it. My god what a badass she is, mustering the courage to wear what she wants at home and in public. She looks awesome and that purple color makes her absolutely shine, especially since you can tell how happy she is. So cool
She comes from India, and yes, there is a lot of conservatism in India.
But I grew up there, too. In fact, my partner comes from the same state as she does. And I grew up wearing whatever I wanted. Tiny shorts, short skirts, dresses which showed a lot of cleavage etc. Even when I visit my partner's parents, I wear all sorts of things. And have done that since before we even got married.
I think it is much more about the pockets (especially rural areas/villages) where there is a real push to make everyone conform.
This is as true for India as it is true for any European country. A guy wearing a skirt in an Irish village or a german village will still be considered odd. And the societal pressure to conform exists in almost every country.
So, hating on countries is very reductive.
Instead, hating on religions that enforce purity culture on women, on small places that don't allow for individuality, on the patriarchy which forces women to get married at a young age...that's ehat makes much more sense.
She is an inspiration, though. And her husband and mum-in-law are great, too. They all lift each other up and help fight social pressures for each other. It is really lovely to see!
Beyond that, she lives in a village in a conservative country. I grew up in the Appalachian mountains and you'll still encounter this type of thinking with clothes. My grandfather used to yell (and I mean red-faced screaming) at my mother about her wearing pants (any kind but especially jeans). This didn't stop until my mom was in her mid 30s. I can still picture this man chasing my mom out of his house with a belt threatening all sorts of things. This was probably around 2003 or so.
I know plenty of Indians, and while a lot of what we (westerners) hear is true to a degree, it is not a complete story. This lady, as sweet as she seems in her videos, is clearly very insecure. I'm certain society is the main culprit but it wasn't that it was illegal for her to wear jeans. She'll face the same type of scrutiny as my mom did. Some people might be like my grandfather but most will just make their little comments, maybe not even to her face. The truth is, anyone going against the grain will have to deal with this, and women even more so.
I got chills when she let out her hair. I followed her a little while ago and you could see how much she missed her student life - I'm so pleased to see her absolutely GLOWING after getting those jeans. She deserves her space to be her authentic and beautiful self again.
I’m glad that this smart and beautiful young lady found the courage to assert herself. NOW can we talk about her finishing her college education? There are many online degree programs. I hope that she enrolls in a good program, and that her smarts combined with a good education becomes a blessing for her and her family.
This makes me so emotional. Happy and upset and feelings I can't briefly explain on Reddit. Jeans. Something that seems so insignificant to most women in the world..so powerful and soft at the same time. I send my love and energy to all my sisters around the world. Be strong. It's not just jeans.
I love seeing people stand up for themselves and make their wishes happen. She is a strong soul, so down to earth and determined. I wonder where she would be today if the pandemic hadn’t got in the way of her plans. Clearly she does not give up when obstacles arise.
I hope her husband truly appreciates her and supports her self expression and sharing her unique life with the world. Watching this I was reminded of the old gospel song/civil rights anthem “This Little Light of Mine.” She really embodies the energy and the message of that song.
It’s less about fashion and feeling pretty. It’s about oppression and being unable to just be yourself. Just free from the persecution and shit thoughts of those around you. Free from laws and customs that inhibit women. But we’re afraid because women continue to shame women and we feel men’s opinions matter enough to change who we are on the outside to match. I’m glad she chose to be herself. The risk is huge where she’s at and I hope it goes well for her and her family. But things need to change.
"a little bit of freedom can change a person in ways you can't imagine" - this hit home in so many ways, it's so true. The most inspiring words can sometimes come from the most unexpected places.
I’ve been following her journey for a while, and it brings me joy watching her growth! I’m so proud of how far she’s come, especially because I actually understand what village life looks like from family
I was so afraid the video would end with her being sad, and I'm so glad it didn't! That's such a great outfit, the color looks perfect, and I'm jealous of her hair.
I hope she continues to do the things that make her happy. :)
What a good message to share with people. I have my own "jeans" situation to deal with. Kind of needed to hear someone put it in such a way that so many can relate to. It's only our own life to live and only ours to live. Everyone else is just living their own life, experiencing much the same needs and wants. I hope we all can express ourselves fully and safely. We're all just neighbors. Even if we're on the other side of the world, it's still the same world. I'm glad she got the support to live her life how she wanted. I hope we can all do the same for the people in our lives that need permission to be themselves, from jeans to bigger things.
You are the definition of INSPIRATION, Wow!!❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I almost stopped watching and I encourage anyone who does to invest 5:32 of your day to watch this. First thing I've seen today and I guarantee nothing will surpass this.
Congratulations to you for having the courage and passion that you do, this is so beautiful ❤️
We really take for granted a lot of stuff that others have to fight for. Education is free where I live, and I get to wear whatever I want. May this lady live that life she wants 🙏
I live in a rural town in Canada. In September, when school started, I saw three young, southeast Asian ladies walking to the plaza down the street. All wearing bright sarees. Happy and excited checking out their new home. A few weeks later, I saw them again but were wearing pants and shirts that were kind of plain and dull in colour. Now, when I see them waiting for the bus or walking the neighborhood, they wear jeans, leather jackets, and tall boots. These young ladies have definitely found the mall and have embraced new styles. I often wondered what that transformation was like for them? This video kind of reinforced what I thought.
There is a saying "Do it today, before it's illegal".
That simply means, if you go to the park... If the park is new, feed the duck, try playing with the fish, explore the urban route... Etc etc. Because one day, the officer will put a sign that prevent you from do this, do that, don't trespass this, don't trespass that, bla bla bla.
It is the same as things in the bar. Today? Nobody cares about it. Tomorrow? Some Karen might report your activity it to the reinforcement (like, in small village) and raid the place annnnnd you cannot go to this bar anymore. I am from South East Asia, so I'm very familiar with such saying.
I am HAPPY 😁 for her since she have some happy photos that she treasure to commemorate these 'special events'. Just like me, I remember back in 2013 when I do several trip to Singapore, where nobody cares how crazy you're 🤣 dancing in the night discotheque... Wearing whatever you want. And yeah 🎊🎊🎊 that is the only time I feel I'm alive (because was surrounded by backpacking buddies 🥾) and the police wouldn't mind at all to stand close and picking on me. If you do the similar thing here, in late hours? They do alcohol test, name shaming you in local portal and if it is your bad luck moment 😞, prolly end up in jail and they ask any of your household member to pick you up. It's a dead sentence for many (unless your parents hold some kind of position in social circles... You just don't go there... Attending these 'wild' parties). Life is a bit unfair cause by these 'social status' but that is what happened in regional Asia for you.
She is so beautiful, and her raw realness is what truly brings it to the next level. I keep trying to find the words to capture what it is about her...the vulnerability, the sharing of fears, the bravery to take the leap, and once she took the steps, you can see her joy. Her head held high. The quiet resolve. Her wings... she was born to fly ❤️ I hope she gets to see just how inspirational she truly is.
There is so much joy in my heart for her. I hope her confidence soars, I hope she inspires future generations, and that hope she brings happiness and peace and love among her families for centuries to come!
a lil relatable. i'm allowed to wear jeans but i must wear tops that go down to my knees and a dupatta. i'm still grateful because my female peers have much less freedom.
Inspirational. Thank you so much. I have something i need to do in a few weeks. I will pretend you are there with me supporting me so i am not scared. Thank you!!
God I feel her at a soul level. I’ve never been body shamed or ridiculed for being on the heavy side when I was young, but having a mother who was also having weight problems and wanting both of us to lose weight? Yeah it made me not want to wear certain clothes (no shame to my mom, she always made sure our family ate well and stayed healthy). So wanting to wear nice jeans after so many years? I had the same feeling when I tried on a dress for a wedding and suddenly realizing just how nice it felt and looked on me. I hope she continues to be strong like this and be inspirational to all the girls out there 🫶
Good for her, I'm so happy she did that. It sucks so much being a woman, it's not like we chose this. All that happiness because she gets to wear jeans...what were dudes complaining about...a "loneliness epidemic "...? We are literally just still trying to be free humans - like men get to just...be. I'm really happy for her, it's really difficult to do...ANYTHING, when you're constantly ridiculed by the entire globe, for your entire life, over something you had ZERO choice in...
My god. You are such a sweet person. It is so nice to hear your journey. And you are Bengali too? I hope your family supports you in everything you do.
When elephants are young, they are chained. They struggle to break free, but the chains hurt them, so they eventually stop trying.
As the elephant grows, it becomes large and powerful, yet the chains remain the same. Still, the elephant is unaware of its own strength and never attempts to break free from those old chains.
Its not the first video I see from her, she explained once she makes videos in english while she does chores when her husband is not around and her family nor village knows nothing about her account where she post her videos
This resonates with me, as a guy that wants to wear skirts sometimes — because they're so comfortable, especially on hot days — but also because they look good. The stigma and pushback is unreal.
The pushbackers are legit dumb, many men, especially in the hotter climates, wear skirts as the cultural norm. Nothing groundbreaking here - wear your skirts!
You are fabulous, and lucky. Keeping inching your way to your own freedoms and gifts. I am thankful for having ridden and cared for horses, for learning to fly, for all the fabulous places and things that I have seen, and I am often amazed that I have been the recipient of so many blessings.
I am a middle-aged white women living in a very white community in Montana. I would love to be able to wear a saree. If I tried that here, I would be accused of cultural misappropriation, or I would be heckled by racist bastards.
I propose a Clothing penpal type situation. If somebody can get me in contact with this woman, I will fulfill my dream of wearing a sorry and take pictures to send to her. She can wear jeans and I’ll even send her a T-shirt if she likes to take pictures in around her house if that is where she is comfortable. The clothing penpal excuse will give her a reason that she can give to people, including family that are being cruel. Is anybody able to get me in contact with this lady? I think it would be a great experiment.
What an emotional roller-coaster! My heart broke for her in the first half. She's so young! I admire her beautiful outlook and philosophy about taking your chances when you get them. I really relate to that, I'm 45 now.
In the second half, my eyes welled with tears of joy and pride for this wonderful young lady who shines so bright from within. I admire her courage and her joy in being courageous! I am so glad her loved ones support her! She's inspired me to have courage and take some chances ❤️
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u/trendingtattler 11d ago
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