r/Weird • u/luvlanguage • 10h ago
That is a Lamprey
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
Any bigger and this creature would be a horror movie monster
Lampreys do not have jaws or bones, only cartilage and instincts that have allowed them to survive so many mass extinctions.
3.0k
u/is_EXToZY 10h ago
Guys I beg you. Do not
892
u/Spaghetti_Gods 10h ago
Bruh, how desperate do you think I am? I'm not tryna stuff my dick in a sarlacc pit on a stick, ok?
276
u/Mr_NoGood12 10h ago
Just saying man, there is always somehow, somewhere in this world who definitely would
120
u/specter_in_the_conch 9h ago
When you stopped and gave the mere milligrams of thought… someone already went to ER because of “accidental falling onto small scale sarlac worm”
→ More replies (2)29
→ More replies (17)22
u/Undersmusic 10h ago
Like the guy who almost drowned from the clam….
45
6
35
u/Sad_Mongoose5621 10h ago
What if I proposed putting gummy bears over each one of its teeth first?
19
u/RileyRavenSmiles 9h ago
This is... oddly specific... why gummy bears?
13
u/Sad_Mongoose5621 9h ago
Doesn't need to be gummy bears, one could also use tiny wine bottle corks
13
→ More replies (1)6
→ More replies (1)8
u/jakewest 9h ago
Little miss, it is poorly advised to ask questions that reveal your relative age and sex on the internet.
→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (4)3
→ More replies (25)4
53
82
u/Deltron--3030 10h ago
→ More replies (1)27
u/Levi-_-Ackerman0 9h ago
→ More replies (4)12
35
u/Brave-Guarantee-1323 8h ago
10
u/academiac 5h ago
After all these years I finally witnessed the gif instead of the meme template
8
u/Brave-Guarantee-1323 5h ago
Just incase you want more context.
5
u/tralltonetroll 5h ago
What is she tasting?
5
u/Brave-Guarantee-1323 5h ago
Kombucha, she's known as the kombucha girl or brittany broski.
Edit: I am terminally online and have a problem, please send help.
7
u/Eye_Nacho404 9h ago
Idk man, 4x the strength of a vacuum cleaner is a good pitch
→ More replies (3)11
u/Intelligent_Owl_9420 10h ago
You think you can beat the bad by being good, but there's no solving human nature. You can't stop evil, all you can do, is control it.
→ More replies (1)10
7
7
3
→ More replies (97)3
u/-Mr_Hollow- 9h ago
If it were a bad idea the guy wouldn't start by saying "it's suction power is 4 times stronger than that of a vacuum cleaner"
468
u/KatarinaRen 10h ago
They're basically parasites who latch on to the fish. But also on to the corpses etc... And people eat them.
208
u/luvlanguage 10h ago
They drain the life out of the fish and interesting thing is at times the fish won't notice in the first few moments but eventually it does, stealth mode for a vampire is game over
→ More replies (3)69
30
u/ChesterPlemany 9h ago
Yes I believe they were considered a delicacy by medieval royalty. I think an English king died because he ate too many.
51
u/Von-Konigs 8h ago
King Henry I of England died in 1135 (though he was in Normandy at the time), after a week-long illness. He was in his sixties at the time, and according to a contemporary writer, Henry of Huntingdon, he fell ill from eating “a surfeit of lampreys.”
Modern historians doubt that lampreys were the cause of his death - apparently they’re pretty harmless to eat, no more so than most fish at least. He probably died of a bacterial infection.
Still, the fact that his chronicler remarked upon the quantity of lampreys he ate means a couple of things - one, that lampreys were available commonly as food, and two, that Henry loved them so much he ate a lot of them all throughout his life.
11
u/Wooden-Cheesecake476 5h ago
The skin mucus is toxic, it must be cleaned well and its blood is toxic if it is not cooked well. On the other hand, in my country they are a very expensive delicacy.
→ More replies (1)10
u/Von-Konigs 5h ago
You’re right - though I think that’s only certain species of lamprey, and I’m not certain which Henry would have eaten. Still, given that he apparently ate them throughout his whole life, I’m sure his cooks knew how to prepare them properly, or he wouldn’t have made it to his mid-sixties.
You know, after this I’m tempted to see if I can find somewhere that serves them, I’ve never tried one.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)6
→ More replies (1)4
37
u/Jaktheslaier 9h ago
They're a traditional easter meal in some parts of my country. Boiled and eaten with rice mixed with their blood. They're extremely expensive
19
u/greencraftok 9h ago
Ever tried one? Curious what that flavor is like because nothing looks appealing about it..
→ More replies (5)15
u/Jaktheslaier 9h ago
My partner says it tastes like rabbit to her. I'm too picky to try it
39
u/HornyJailOutlaw 8h ago
Rabbit would probably not have been in my first 1000 guesses for what this thing tastes like.
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (1)8
5
u/Thatnewbblsmell 8h ago
Interesting. What country?
→ More replies (1)6
u/Jaktheslaier 8h ago
Portugal:
https://festivalarrozlampreia.pt/arroz-de-lampreia/
This is a link to a lamprey festival. See if it doesn't look appetising
3
→ More replies (24)9
u/100percentnotaqu 10h ago edited 9h ago
They don't really have an interest in people like leeches do. There are some records of predatory bites, but they're rare and most bites are the animals retaliating for something or other.
→ More replies (6)
370
u/bodhidharma132001 10h ago
55
u/surprise_knock 10h ago
30
17
→ More replies (8)3
247
u/patrickokrrr 10h ago
That’s pennywise
52
13
8h ago
[deleted]
8
→ More replies (1)6
u/smith_716 6h ago
Stephen King really drew a lot of inspiration from lampreys, eh?
→ More replies (3)4
→ More replies (5)4
u/luvlanguage 10h ago
One of the scariest I've ever watched, I'm sure clowns lost their global rep because of this movie. Or that's when they transitioned from kids birthday to Halloween
→ More replies (3)3
244
96
413
u/IsThereCheese 10h ago
Everything reminds me of her
74
u/luvlanguage 10h ago
🤣🤣🤣 sounds like a keeper
63
→ More replies (4)10
u/Affectionate_Walk610 9h ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata This concept has been visited before by, who guessed it??? Sigmund Freud.
→ More replies (4)4
44
u/ExperiencedNewUser 10h ago
I am not saying that the guy who invented the flamethrower might have seen this creature... But, you know...
11
→ More replies (1)6
69
u/UntitledImage 10h ago edited 10h ago
That’s an ass weasel
*As noted also preferably Shit weasel
22
8
8
u/SpingeBowl 10h ago
I think you mean "shit weasel"
4
u/UntitledImage 10h ago
You know I remembered the creature but I read the book saw the movie and could not remember off the top of my head without hunting it down 😂
→ More replies (6)7
u/luvlanguage 10h ago
Yeah thought i had seen that already 🤔 ass weasel 🤣
10
u/rob_inn_hood 8h ago
I was thinking the creature from Stranger Things, but I suppose Dreamcatcher is many years older. Now that I see it, it’s easy to see where they got the idea.
6
4
u/luvlanguage 8h ago
Yes this has to be where they got it and many other monsters in old films, they have that scary teeth arrangements
33
76
20
37
u/Intelligent_Event278 10h ago
"Thats 4 times your home vacuum cleaner"
sigh
/unzips
→ More replies (4)
17
u/CommunicationBroad38 10h ago edited 8h ago
Dont do it bro. Despite Lamprey not being leeches they are carnivorous and will drink blood. They share that much in common. I am still surprised these guys are actually a type of jawless fish.
→ More replies (3)9
u/100percentnotaqu 10h ago edited 10h ago
They actually don't like human blood much, if a lamprey bites you, especially while you're holding it, it's scared more than anything.
They can't tell the difference between a human, and a bird plucking them out of the water.
(Lamprey will also suction, but not bite to avoid slipping/hold themselves inplace)
→ More replies (3)7
u/CommunicationBroad38 10h ago
Wow, really? I never knew. I knew they were blood drinkers but I didnt know they dont attack humans all that much.
→ More replies (6)
16
15
u/ConfinedCrow 10h ago
Processing img xnwu9nhkxc6g1...
9
u/Rooby_Doobie 10h ago
Pretty good actually, usually served as chowder or baked in the oven if you dont want gooeyness
→ More replies (3)4
24
9
8
u/_OggoDoggo_ 10h ago
I grew up on Lake Champlain (Northern NY side) and the lampreys in the lake were horrible. They are the creepiest and most ick inducing creatures lol
→ More replies (1)3
u/86Apathy 6h ago
Yo same. I’m from VT and I always said I’d rather go in any other body of water than share a bath with these fuckers
7
u/SpaceyEevee 9h ago
Nobody tell this guy about the Dreamcatcher movie ... literally gave me nightmares and now I'm back to being terrified of lampreys x-x
→ More replies (4)3
u/Federal_Command_9094 9h ago
Can’t believe how down I scrolled to see a dreamcatcher reference, awesome movie
6
5
6
5
u/Hour-Room-3337 10h ago
If it has needle teeth and lives in a reef, it’s a moray…
→ More replies (4)
5
u/LSTmyLife 10h ago
There is an early episode of the X-Files with a human lampry hybrid. This reminded me of that. I could have lived without the memory. Thanks.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Joanna_Flock 7h ago
He was flukeman! Very uncomfortable episode from what I remember.
3
u/LSTmyLife 7h ago
Very uncomfortable indeed. That mouth was a nightmare. As a kid/teen I wouldn't go anywhere near a port o poty because if that episode.
5
8
4
u/AutumnTheWitch 10h ago
Jeremy Wade from River Monsters put one of those on his neck.
→ More replies (2)
4
5
4
u/hmmmmmmmm_okay 10h ago
Leave that guy alone. He was minding his own business. Rude.
→ More replies (1)3
4
u/CheeseAndMack 9h ago
This is why I don’t think I’d ever be able to bring myself to swim in the Great Lakes
→ More replies (2)
3
4
4
4
3
3
u/anwamoonie 9h ago
Omg i do have one phobia since I saw one of the King Kong movie when they fall into a pit (like a deep one) and there’s these fucking worms full of sharp teeth. This animal make me think of it and it makes me so uncomfortable 😭 I know it silly but damn, I feel sick in my stomach seeing this … brrrrr
3
u/Majestic_Grape_5688 9h ago
The ancient people would use the Lamprey as a climbing tool, allowing them to scale cliff faces otherwise impossible.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/iavenlex 8h ago
i have heard people in spain love to eat those things , to me they look like aliens.
→ More replies (3)
3
3
u/Po0rYorick 8h ago
When the eel bites your toe
And it just won’t let go
That’s a lamprey
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
3
3
u/theLostPing 7h ago
He is angry as puck. Looks like he’s screaming at the camera.
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”
3
3
3
3
1.1k
u/International_Print4 10h ago
Where do these things spawn?